Almost ChristmasDVD - 2017
From the critics
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Mom & daughter talk P1 of 2:
You're an attractive woman. You have a lot to offer a guy but you gotta stop running them off.
-I'm not running anybody off.
Really? Remember my gym teacher, Mr. Harrison?
He said you were beautiful. He said he loved your hair. And you said, "So if I was bald, I wouldn't be beautiful?"
-No. See, I just don't think a woman's beauty should be defined by her hair.
Well, what about the gas station? It was storming, and that really cute guy asked to pump our gas.
-And I let him.
Well, yeah. Until he hit regular unleaded, and you said, "So a black woman can't afford premium?"
You had to pump your gas in the rain while it ruined your hair.
-I was getting my hair done the next day.
Mom & daughter talk p2 of2:
Mom, you're missing the point. Men aren't that smart. So we have to trick them into thinking things are their idea when it's really ours. Like Brandon, my boyfriend.
-I'm sorry. You have a boyfriend?
Focus, Mom. Trust me. Life's a whole lot easier when there's someone to help carry the load. Even if you can carry it yourself.
I was always jealous of you. I mean, Mom and Dad always let you just figure it out on your own.
-Highly overrated. I was jealous of you because you never had to.
Santa? You know, 75% of all sidewalk Santa's have Hepatitis C. Don't put your fingers in his beard.
(Hard to prove or disprove. But per CDC: While anyone can get hepatitis C, 3 in 4 people with hepatitis C were born from 1945–1965. https://www.cdc.gov/knowmorehepatitis/media/pdfs/factsheet-boomers.pdf
Our prime purpose in life... is to help others. If you can't help them, at the very least, don't hurt them.
-But if I do not get elected into office, how can I help, Pop? Great progress requires great sacrifice.
Did you come up with that yourself?
Five days. I knew it was going to be tough. But I said, "Surely the children she loved so much and damn near gave her life for would find a way to make it work." Obviously, I was wrong.
I want to welcome all of our visitors and our CME Christians. They only make it on Christmas,
Mother's Day, and Easter.
You know, I saw her make those recipes a million times. I should know them. I just always thought
she'd be here.
-She is here. She's in every pot, in every pan, every cabinet, and every drawer. We are all standing on holy ground. This is the Church of Grace.
Like your mother always said, "The bigger the tree...The bigger the love!"
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